Revelations and Also Move Over Stevia!

Well, first of all, I've had a Come to Jesus with myself about this diet. First of all, I have noticed at different times, I was just exhausted, almost to the point of tears. Other times, no exhaustion at all. I have decided that certain things about this diet make sense, and other things are just plain silly.
First, the No Breakfast thing is ridiculous. This is not 1950's Rome and I am not Sophia Loren smoking cigarettes and having a black espresso for breakfast. This morning I decided that I would eat a "brunch" like a NORMAL PERSON. I had a TWO egg omelet with 35 calories of low fat swiss cheese (the size of a matchbook cover) and steamed asparagus and chopped green onion thrown in. I rubbed the pan with butter (5 seconds). I ate this with lovely hot tea (NOT YERBA DIRT) and had my whole organic grapefruit. I listened to Bach. I read a women's magazine. It was WONDERFUL. I also remembered my amino acids the doc has me on, so far all day today.
Next, this No Massage this is also silly. While my body might absorb some kind of mineral oil, I don't think I can process it (imagine drinking the stuff) and so I had a two hour massage coming to me at Massage In A Box (a gift from someone and while it's not quite like having the best - B. M. you know who you are - it was helpful. Indeed this therapist was really really good. It helped my sense of sensual starvation and body boredom that comes with this diet. So FUCK YOU KEVIN TRUDEAU! Heh heh.
Next, I realize that Water Is The Key. For example, I had some eggs last night b/c I couldn't face fish again (despite lunch being pretty damn good). Then later I had chicken broth. You can't help but notice the salt in chicken broth, even if it's Organic Chicken Broth (which it was). Warm Chicken/Veggie Broth before bed (e.g. at 8 PM) made me so happy. Yum Yum. And then I (initially) thought ... oh no! I'm cheating! I'll just gain on this broth! Then I took myself in hand and said "Stop this nonsense thinking. Your dog gets more calories than you on this diet. Salt will make you retain water. Drink alot of water." So I did. Tons of it. (AVERT YOUR EYES FOR HERE COMES A TMI MOMENT) And had great sex - nothing like that to keep your mind off food. TMI MOMENT OVER .... TMI MOMENT OVER.... And this morning I was 187.2. HA HA! Not a huge loss by Simeon/Trudeau standards, but jeez, that makes it 12.5 pounds (understand some is water) since 2/27/08 - in eleven days.
And I feel SO MUCH BETTER today. Cheery, attempting to whistle, etc. I realized that the word "cheating" should truly be reserved for the time that I (and I don't think this will happen but who knows) just go nuts and eat Taco Bell and alot of it at that, and Coca-Cola and stuff like that. Maybe eating an entire package of Girl Scout Cookies or something. But putting 1/2 of a piece of cheese (that is low fat to begin with and totals 35 calories) in your 2 egg omelet - I am just not going to think about that as a huge sin. Portion control, however I believe in. And certain choices of food are truly verboten (e.g. white flour, white potato or anything outrageously carb-y now). You can't have a 6 egg omelet. You can't eat an 8 oz. fatty steak and a baked potato (think of the sugars pouring in and fucking with your glycemic index...) But I am going to listen to my body first and watch the scale and see if my body is incorrect or if this diet is NOT one size fits all.

OK here is the other killer thing I discovered. I was in the Whole Food/Wild Oats hunting for something called "Z-Sweet" because some of the recipes called for it on hcgrecipes.blogspot.com and stumbled across something brand new called SWERVE. You MUST try this Swerve stuff. No carbs, no calories, no nothing - made from fruit - no chemicals and it's granular and it, and I am not making this up, TASTES EXACTLY LIKE SUGAR. I even did a blind taste test (as close as 'blind' as I could get) and I could not tell the difference.

For those of you who know me - this is like the Holy Grail. Because I HATE HATE HATE all forms of sugar substitute, including that powdery substance "Stevia" which in most instances isn't truly all that bad... but SCREW YOU STEVIA because Swerve beats the crap out of Stevia.

I immediately poured myself a glass of Yerba Ick Dirt Potion Iced Tea and had a sip (ICK ICK BLECH). Then I wantonly plunged the spoon into the Swerve bag and had two helping teaspoons of it in my glass of iced tea!

Wonderment! Hallelujah Chorus! Cheering! I cannot believe it. I am now drinking the Yerba Mate Potion like it is Mead from Heaven.

I pause a moment to reflect that despite my somewhat more realistic and improved attitude towards this diet phase of my life, my rhapsody over a sugar substitute still smacks of someone who is a bit.. narrow in her focus?

Fuck that! HALLELUJAH!