Never Be Scared of the Scale

Thanks for all the support for the previous post. Here's the update.

1) Went in and just started bawling all over Dr. T. I think it's because a) I hadn't had a period like that in awhile and so perhaps hormonal and b) got completely sick with a cold then next day (whole family had it) and c) my parents are in their 80's and I have to go to see them and it is painful because they have serious memory loss and I have a very difficult sister who has all the control over them (legal, financial, etc.) whose loser son is now living rent free in our family home, driving their car and so forth. I can't do anything about this situation and the idea of paying 1200.00 to fly back to see them is daunting - I don't know if they'll notice I'm there - I mean I think they will - I do talk to them on the phone, but dad, especially, cannot remember much. So it was on my mind and has been.

2) When I started bawling all over Dr. T., this is what he did. He closed the door, got a tissue for me and then ENVELOPED ME IN A BIG HUG and let me cry all over his nice shirt. I have never had a physician (except for the sweet Dr. K but that's a different issue) be this kind to me. I felt completely cared about.

3) On Monday, I had only lost .25 pounds. However, he has me on these amino acids and noted again that I had lost fat and gained lean. He showed me my printouts from 2/22 when I first went in for my consultation and where I was Monday. I have lost approximately 20 lbs of fat and put on about 7 of lean or more. The rest was water I guess. He told me he was proud of me, to hang in there and gave me my big old painful B shot in my shrinking butt (still ample enough though!)

4) Sweet husband gave me injections starting Monday AM. This morning, the scale said...... 183.6. NO KIDDING. I vowed not to be afraid of the scale ever again.


183.6. I am closer to 180 than to 190 and of course not near 200! This amazes me. I feel better on hcg and I wonder if my little break from it made it work better? Or if I just feel better on it because I'm sensitive to it? Or what?

OK other news. Dr. K. tells me I am low in my blood count on vitamin D and she wants me to take 1000 mg per day in a supplement. Anyone think this will cause a problem?

I can't believe it was 183.6. I know it will be higher tomorrow because I didn't plan and so had a piece of organic bread and some bologna for lunch, running out the door. But I'm sitting here eating my grapefruit and waiting for the sea bass on the grill (it's gotten warm enough today that it almost feels like spring, and given that it snowed like mad on the weekend (7 inches on my car) I'll take it).

My brain in changing about food. Slowly. Surely. It is and I can tell. I was up late and watched the Intuitive Eating guy on TV who made ultimate sense with his four rules 1) eat when you are hungry 2) eat what you want 3) eat consciously - meaning no tv, no distraction, and put down the fork between every bite of it. I fell asleep and so don't know rule 4 - but this made sense. I don't want to label foods as "good" or "bad" - my friend InterplanetJanet has been teaching me about this. Listening to my body - not just my BRAIN - and thinking about what the body NEEDS is important. So oh well about the 1 piece of organic bread with bologna. I had organic mustard on it so there.

I was at the gas station today in the Rental Car (my VW is still wrecked and in the shop until the 12th of Never). I think I got a Real Look from some nondescript looking man. I'm not sure. I could not tell. But I think it was a look. I actually TUCKED MY SHIRT INTO MY JEANS TODAY. Also, I am on the last buckle thing on my belt. I need to poke a hole in this belt because it's cute and it was expensive and I'm not tossing it.


TMI ALERT TMI ALERT - also, my BRA is finally ... bagging? looser? This I thought would never happen because my breasts are legendary .. I mean in a good way. And those damn bras were specially fitted by a corsetier and that means they were expensive ($65 and up). Oh well.

TMI ALERT OVER TMI ALERT OVER.

Thanks for reading my blog my pals. Thanks for lending support. I'm not stopping until I break 160. I know that's a lofty goal - but I think well hell, that's only 25 pounds away. I can't imagine what that will be like.

xoxo I smell Sea Bass.