Well, ended up eating pizza and started the long downward Oh Fuck This slide. Realized again that I am not doing that anymore. Went and lifted weights with Trevor and it made all the difference. Nothing like 20 pounds off my body to make the warm up (treadmill) easier. And I haven't lost as much lean as I anticipated because I can still KICK ASS on legs. And did as many abs as hubby did.
Sometimes it takes a friend or husband or someone to literally drag you out of the doldrums. Nothing like the Nike ad re: Just Do It. I immediately felt better physically, and then of course, mentally perked up, felt less avoidant and anxious, and you know the rest.
Why is it so hard to remember this feeling, this recall that yes, I can do this, that yes, it's just a lifted weight, a walk on the treadmill or the putting down of pizza away?
Sadness and despair creep in, like a fog. The deal with my parents, taking on extra hard cases, trying to (always) re-invent my practice to keep up with the economy and the changing times and the needs of my population, not sleeping, it all catches up with a person. And then you are sitting eating pizza and FORTUNE COOKIES (jesus - fortune cookies?) at the computer and feeling despair and that you will never take off the last 30 lbs.
And so, you must begin again and again and again... and no matter if I have to begin anew every fucking 10 minutes, then I suppose that it what it takes. Because what is the alternative? The slide into helplessness? A rage against advancing age and sagging flesh? Fuck That.
I'm dusting off my damn George Foreman.
And I'm finishing this report that as I write it, makes me despair of humanity the absolute lack of empathy parents show for children. I've got loud Detroit MoTown playing. That is helping.
Keep At It.
Keep At It.
Keep At It.
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I have started the HCG diet and while I am doing it, I think it's a crock. But I'm desperate and so I'm doing it. But I hate the book by Kevin Trudeau that I had to read and I don't believe any of this crap and I think it won't work. But I'm doing it. And I want to talk about it.
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About Me
- The Hopeful Cynic
- absolutely cynical and yet hoping against hope that this hcg will work.
Go Horsie Go
5 comments:
What's that saying? "If you fail try, try try again?" or err, something like that!! Hope everything is goin okay!
Sound like you're figuring it out as you go and sometimes that works better than all the planning in the world. You're making great choices girl. So you should be proud!
Your job must be really hard sometimes... not the kind of job you can "leave at work". The world is overwhelming me too right now -- and all we can do is get right back on track every time we slip. it's a learning process, eh?
Glad to see you are back on track in this battle.
I hope your week ends on a good note!
You GO, girl! And in response to your previous post, you're looking GREAT weight-wise. One lb. below LIW is just about perfect, so far as I know. We all fight the denial/avoidance demon in our journey with this protocol - you just have to recognize its ugly little rearing head and SQUASH that bastard! That's RIGHT!! ;D
Awesome job with the workout, too. Gotta maybe (notice the lack of commitment?? LOL) start doing that myself .. though lately I've been more of a Yoga-girl. The guy on the DVD I've got is pretty much Dead Sexy. lol So I'm there.
You -will- lose every last pound you've set out to. You are going to conquer every last bit of fear and doubt, and you will emerge a more powerful, healthy, vibrant person. We are all here with and for you, and there is nothing that you will face in this protocol that we can't make it through together.
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