I Got On The Scale and also, My Bitchin New Hair

Well, I got on the scale this AM. Recall, LIW = 183.0 Today... 181.4!!! Again, how can this be? I think my new phrase is HOW CAN THIS BE? I didn't exactly gorge or anything in OKC, but I, as usual am not on the "program" - so that's so weird.

How long is phase three supposed to last anyway - you know, the part where I'm supposed to be avoiding starch and sugar? Like those bread things at Olive Garden, and the BEER I had two nights ago? (OMG it was such a delightful beer. I don't even like beer. But intuitively I wanted it and it was lovely and cold and beer-ish).

So, I'm totally NOT being a good P3 person. OK so today - I had CHAI (I was cold - it snowed here a couple of days ago) and I know that's just sugar and carb-y. Lunch was better - we went to restaurant that serves burgers and fries (but upscale - the kind with the nifty phone where you place your order that way). I got my burger on lettuce (sadly the iceberg kind) and I didn't want the cheese. I just didn't want it. Who knows why because I love cheese. And a huge 32 oz. iced tea. And now I smell steak even though it's like 8:30 PM. We all got in late from work, soccer practice and so forth. So I'll eat it and then see what else I want to eat --- what will the scale do about that?

I was just SURE that if I ate even the remotest portion of bread or starch that my weight would skyrocket, and it hasn't... yet. So I stopped the shots on, say, March 30ish - it's April 11 - how long is the stricter P3 supposed to last anyway? And then what's after that? What do I eat - or try to eat and not eat until I try P2 again? Is it called P4 or something?

I don't want to do the P2 again until after all my conferences in May because I am too chicken to inject myself. Is it OK to wait longer than sooner to start P2 again, because I want to start in June..?

OK another issue (TMI TMI MOMENT - TMI TMI MOMENT) - what the hell is up with the huge resurgence of TOM? I was down to nothing thanks to the IUD and now, WHOOSH. Is this a good thing? I'm hating it. Unless hcg is like a Fountain of Youth thing and then I'll take that. (TMI MOMENT OVER - TMI MOMENT OVER).

I am, I admit, thinking of what might happen if I ever break into the 170's. I simply cannot imagine it. What if I broke into it by like next week or something? OMG!

Of course, 179.9 means that it will fluctuate a ton into the 180's but 179 is so much farther from the 190s... ahhhh. I want to turn my back on the 190s FOREVER. I am scared to give away my size 16's but I need to. I tried to put on my 14's this morning and they were just too big - not just a little bit but they were like baggy. So comfy compared to the size 10 sausage casing jeans that I still am courageous enough to squeeze into (LUCKY ME).

I have to shop because my spring clothes - well the dresses will be OK because they don't have to fit like pants, but other than that... I need to get some work stuff that's not too big. Because I have learned that even when I was 198, wearing baggy clothes just made me look fatter.

And I'm NOT interested in looking fat.

OK and now about my hair.

I went to Chad and got a hair cut. I LOVE this haircut every day more and more (nothing like weight loss to improve a hair cut). What does it look like, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, that Rod Stewart had sex with Florence Henderson (the mom on Brady Bunch) and produced a Bay City Roller/David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust child. It's all blondish but dirty and slutty streaky blonde. I have to straighten the hell out of it. It's SO 80's.

I LOVE it because no one else has this hair cut because no one else would WANT this haircut. But I love it. My friends have politely avoided the topic of the hair. Husband likes it because I have hair and it's on my head and so therefore that's enough for him.

OK. Dinner calls.